Old Years End

It's that time once again. Time to kiss goodbye to the past and wave hello to the future. A new year, a new start.

Every time the year comes to an end, people are always saying how pleased they are to see the back of it, I was even one of these people for a while, but, as with anything in life, sometimes you need to focus on the positives.

Life is far too short to take for granted and any moment spent on focusing on the bad rather than seeing the good is a moment wasted.

So, what has this past year brought me?

Friends: Finding good friends is no easy task. When you find that special friend, hold on to them tightly and never let them go. I've been fortunate to make some special friends this year and consider myself to be very lucky to have found them. I value my friends very highly and they play a big part in my life. If you have been lucky enough to find yourself in a similar situation then consider this something to treasure. Good friends are far and few between.

Change: I moved out of home at the start of the year and began life all over again with one of my closest friends. I learnt how to get used to my own company, to fend for myself and to adapt to new surroundings. These changes have helped me find myself again and shape me into the person I am today.

Acceptance: This has been the first year I have spent being 'single' for a very long time. At first, I was terrified. How would I cope? Who would I spend my time with? Would I ever be happy again?
I coped OK. Of course, I'm not saying it was the easiest thing to do, but still, I coped. I spent my time with friends who were able to distract me and help me though the toughest times and I learnt to be happy by being happy with my self. Finally I learnt to accept myself for who I am and enjoy spending time in my own company. After all, to be able to accept others you must first accept yourself.

These are just three points that I have taken from the past twelve months. I understand that to others they may seem fairly trivial and mundane, but to me they are massive.
As the year approaches it's end, I look back over the last twelve months and smile. Sure, I've had my fair share of problems and it hasn't been an easy ride, but that's life; unfortunately it is never easy, simple or straight forward. It's the 'downs' that make us appreciate the 'ups', and I know that looking back, I certainly appreciate every good moment I've had.

So when you hear that countdown as you raise your glass, don't wish goodbye to just 'another year' but think of the good times it has brought you and give thanks at having had them. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, remember, there are 1000 reasons to smile, sometimes you just need to find them.

Happy New Year xxx

Last Christmas...

Last Christmas was undoubtedly one of the worst days of my life...

I spent the day with my Mum, Dad, Grandad and his girlfriend (weird, I know) My sister had been swept off to the Maldives, I had recently split up with my long-term boyfriend and I felt the loneliest I have ever been.

To be honest, I would never have thought I would stop feeling lonely, all I could see was darkness. It was as if there was no light at the end of the continuous tunnel I found myself crawling though. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel happy and tears seemed to be in an endless supply. Yet, here I am, almost a year later and I am actually OK...

Perhaps it's because of all the support from my lovely friends and family who have helped me pull through during times when I thought there was no up, perhaps it was because I have had time to learn about myself, or perhaps it is because I have finally learnt to accept the fact that actually, people do care.

I have always had a strong guard that I rarely let down. I put on a front, I pretend I'm OK when inside, I'm not. The fear of the unknown is what keeps that barrier up, and it is only when I feel that I can truly trust someone that it slowly starts to lower. For a long time I didn't think I would be able to let it down again or let anyone into my world, but without even realising it, it seems to be happening...
There is no better feeling than being cared about, having someone there to pick you up when you are down and to just generally make you feel special but I have learnt to accept that this should not be the only thing that I rely on to make me happy. I needed to learn that before I could accept anyone else, I needed to accept myself. I needed to come to terms with the fact that it's OK to fuck up every now and then, that perhaps I'm not perfect, but mostly, I needed to realise that I have a big heart and caring nature, I treat people how I want to be treated. When someone is down, I want to help, if someone needs me, I want to be there.

This is my strongest yet weakest trait. In life, many people take things like this for granted, it's taken me a while to realise this, but I finally feel strong enough to know when too much is too much, when I'm being treated like a mug and when to speak up about it.

Over the past year, I've learnt a lot of things about myself and realised that I am a good person. No longer am I hurting or struggling to see the light, I have learnt that in order to let people in I need to let my guard down, and while this is a risk, it's always a risk worth taking. I have met some amazing people this year, some of which have made me realise that you can find happiness in the strangest places when you least expect it. I realise that I often speak out of turn and my honesty can often cause problems, but this is just who I am. I cant change that, nor would I want to.

I am me, and at last, I am happy.

Banksy

Introduction to Banksy's book 'Wall and Piece'...

I'm going to speak my mind, so this won't take very long.

Despite what they say, graffiti is not the lowest form of art. Although you might have to creep about at night and lie to your mum it's actually one of the more honest art forms available. There is no elitism or hype, it exhibits on the best walls a town has to offer and nobody is put off by the price of admission.

A wall has always been the best place to publish your work.

The people who run our cities don't understand graffiti because they think nothing has the right to exist unless it makes a profit, which makes their opinion worthless.

They say graffiti frightens people and is symbolic of the decline in society, but graffiti is only dangerous in the mind of three types of people; politicians, advertising executives and graffiti writers.

The people who truly deface our neighbourhoods are the companies that scrawl giant slogans across buildings and buses trying to make us feel inadequate unless we buy their stuff. They expect to be able to shout their message in your face from every available surface but you're never allowed to answer back. Well, they started the fight and the wall is the weapon of choice to hit them back.

Some people become cops because they want to make the world a better place. Some people become vandals because they want to make the world a better looking place.

Fairytale Love?



Ask any girl what they want from love and the answer will always be simple; a fairytale.

In all the movies, no matter what genre, there seems to be a fairytale love. You know the type I mean, two people are brought together, fall head over heels in love with each other but neither will admit it. They argue and break apart, they assume it's the end, but we know it never is. After a lot of chasing and romantic gestures, the girl finds herself in her very own fairytale right there in the middle of ordinary everyday life.

But is there such a thing as Prince Charming? Will every girl out there really find someone who can whisk them off their feet and take them away from reality into a world where dreams come true? For many, the idea of such love is unrealistic; its make believe. As much as we submerge ourselves into the escapism offered from romantic comedies and fictional novels, the ability to have such love ourselves just doesn't seem to exist.

Every girl just wants someone to love, and in turn be loved. They want someone to wipe the tears from their eyes when they are sad, to share the laughs with when they are happy and to hold them when they need to be held.

It seems nowadays girls will put themselves out, be used and abused, allow themselves to be walked all over, when really, deep down, all they truly desire is to be wanted; to be loved.

Is there such thing as fairytale love? Are there really guys out there who will do everything and anything they can to show a girl just how much they love them? Do people in real life get serenaded from outside their bedroom windows? Do they get flowers delivered to them everyday until they forgive? Does a guy really do everything in his power to win back the girl that they realise they love, or do they simply give up? Will a guy lay with you, just to be near you and hold you in their arms til morning? Will they tell you how they feel without the prompts? Do they really do the little things that every girl longs for just to know that someone cares?

Us girls just want to believe that fairy tales are real, that romance is alive, that there is such a thing as true love, that there really is a 'happy ever after.'

Although we may have to kiss our fair share of frogs on the way, here's hoping that one day, we might meet our very own Prince Charming and find that in fact, fairytales can come true...

V Fest 2011

After my manic holidays what better way to become at one with nature once more than to camp!

Some friends, my sister, and I all went to V Festival in Chelmsford over August Bank Holiday. Here, we saw some amazing acts; Rihanna, Bruno Mars, Jessie J, Example and Eminem just to name a few.

The sun was shining for once, (always good when festivals are concerned) and everyone managed to get along well. All in all, the weekend was amazing, it was just getting there that was the problem...

Considering my track record with the lack of luck in my life, I was already prepared for something to go wrong. Lets face it, it wouldn't be right if it didn't!
Having spent the morning packing all our camping gear into my 206 and then squeezing everyone in there was an almighty BANG. (Of course, this conveniently happened after filling the tank up with £40 worth of fuel.) Typical.

We all looked at each other worriedly. Thankfully we hadn't ventured too far from home, and one passenger on board is the son of a mechanic. After discovering that the car was well and truly knackered, we managed to get hold of a spare car and we were back on route.
V Festival isn't particularly my favourite festival. Glastonbury will always take the lead as far as festivals are concerned. But as this years V held such an amazing line up, it would be a massive mistake not to have gone. A highlight from the weekend was undoubtedly seeing Eminem... All in all, another successful weekend with some lovely people.

Zante: 2 girls & 1 missed flight.

After my adventures in Ibiza I flew back home for a few days and it was time for holiday number two.

I had booked my girlie holiday to Zante well before Ibiza, but after peer pressure from friends going to Ibiza, I eventually cracked....

My friend Emma and I excitedly boarded the train for Heathrow, found our seats and cracked out the vino that she had purchased earlier in the day. It's a given that anything Emma and I do together involves  wine and giggling over the most ridiculous things. But, it's hard to find a like minded girl these days who isn't pretentious or modelling themselves on someone from the likes of TOWIE. Emma is my party-girl, my tear-wiper, my best friend, and we couldn't wait to spend 10 days on the Greek island of Zante doing nothing but sunbathing, drinking and having care-free fun!
After what felt like the longest journey in the world, we eventually arrived, boarded the coach and was en route to the hotel. At this point, people begin to get anxious. Every hotel that the coach stops at creates a murmur of voices amongst the passengers, eagerly eyeing up the buildings and discussing which poor/lucky holiday-goer would be spending the duration of their stay at such a resort.

Of course, Emma and I were fully prepared to turn up at a complete shambles of a hotel, and, being the people we are, we would laugh at our misfortune. Thankfully, to our surprise, the place didn't look so bad. It was only after a few nights of moving in that we realised we had booked our self into what can only be described as a South London flat block. Teenagers would lurk around the corridors at night, drinking, shouting and causing general chaos.
As you can imagine from two girls abroad, we drank a lot, partied a lot, sunbathed, shopped and had plenty of laughs along the way. But we never expected our last night to be as messy as it was...

***

"It's our last night, the coach isn't picking us up until 5am, I say we go out tonight, get smashed and just get straight on the coach. We can sleep on the plane!"
Emma considered my suggestion for a minute and grinned, "It is our last night!"

It was settled. We got changed into our evening attire and headed on down to the main strip. We decided to stop at all the bars we liked along the way and make the most of the cocktails and shots offers.
Before long it was approaching 3am and we were loosing the ability to string a sentence together. 3.30am arrived and having no cash left we decided it might be best to start the walk home.

As we walked along the beach and approached our hotel, I suggested perhaps it might be a good idea to sleep some of the booze off. It was 3.45am and our transfer wouldn't be there til 5am. The hotel bar had closed and there were no bars nearby to amuse ourselves in. Although Emma had said it seemed like a bad idea, we set the alarm and clambered into bed....

***

"Charlotte!! WAKE UP!! How did this happen!!"

I hastily opened one eye and saw Emma stood in the middle of the room, swaying drunkenly with her phone out in front of her. "Look at the time Charlotte!! Its TEN PAST EIGHT!!!"

I sat up, ignoring the spinning of the room and started laughing. Emma looked at me as if I was a lunatic. I caught my breath and chuckled "Our plane is taking off right now"

My laughing was echoed by Emmas' as she collapsed down next to me. Within a few minutes realisation began to set in. Still a little worse for wear, we made our exit from the hotel and headed towards the airport.
After being told various different things by the airport, from "There's no flights until Thursday," to, "You'll have to come back tonight and go on standby." We eventually managed to bag ourselves a flight...

To Birmingham.

Needless to say, it was a pretty long trip home, not to mention a little pricey. But 12 hours later than planned, after plane and train journey, we finally stepped foot back onto Bournemouth turf and smiled to each other.

After all, everyone will make mistakes, but a best friend will make them with you.

Ibiza Rocks!

Towards the end of July I jetted off to the party paradise that is Ibiza.

As you can expect from such a place, the sun shone, the records spun and the people partied. What an absolutely amazing Island. It is here that you can really forget all about the dramas that are left back home in England and completely lose yourself....

With clubs such as Pacha, Space, Amnesia and Privilege, there is always something to do in San Antonio bay. Everyone is up for a good time and high on life... (as well as other things.)

While it can be pricey to drink in the clubs, the West End bars are full of drink offers and while getting intoxicated on booze isn't a hard task, in Ibiza, the only things you really need to have a good time are a bikini and a passion to party hard.

Upon my visit to the island, I was lucky enough to see such likes of David Guetta, Tinie Tempah and Tensnake. Every night there was something different to occupy yourself with, of course it takes some stamina to party hard every night. I hate to admit that after all the months of pure preparation for said task, there were a few nights that I failed on this, yet when you are somewhere as exciting as Ibiza, your senses seem to submerge into a happy buzz as it is and staying up all hours didn't seem so important.
How would I some up this party island in just two words? Easy; Ibiza rocks.